Graduation!

I have sucessfully completed my BSLC course in SISPEC! I'm so happy, but i'm also feeling quite sad. All my budfs in SISPEC are seperating. All the fun times we had, just sitting around and bitching about life with our cup noodles. Sigh. I'm going to miss those days. I won't miss route marches though. 28 klick was a bitch. But still, no more infantry for me. Haha. I'm posting out to learn to be a combat engineer. Haha. Problem is is that camp is all the way in Nee Soon (to me its like the most oo-loo place in Singapore) and i think i'm going to die just travelling to camp every week. Anyway, i'm still happy cos i'm doing something different rather than just mindless chionging around all the time. And now i also dig shellscrapes and trenches with machines rather than just using brute strength and a bloody small chung-ko. Haha. Hope i get posted to CBRE or EOD from the training institute. Got 200 dollars more pay cos the job is more dangerous. I could be a 3rd Sergeant getting an officer's pay. How cool is that? Haha. Way cool.Anyway, hope i enjoy myself there.
Have been rejected by both SMU and NTU. Wonder which university i'm going to study in. Hope NUS accepts me cos i don't really want to go overseas to study. After all, my whole life is right here in Singapore. My friends and family and a whole load of other things, too many to mention here. I just hoping really hard and keeping my fingers crossed real tight.

Feel's good

1 more week and i will be a fully-fledged Corporal of the Singapore Armed Forces. Yeah! Pay rise and best of all, a chance to get out of SISPEC. Hope i get posted to a support arms unit, like arty or something cos i find that being an infantryman is really mindless and stupid. I want to do something more meaningful with my NS life. Whatever the case, i'll still do my best wherever i get posted to. I most probably not be going to OCS, but i'm kind of mentally prepared for that. After spending 10 weeks as a specialist trainee, i think that maybe i am not really cut out to be an officer, but more to be a section commander or something along that line. But still, i'm in sort of deep trouble cos i lost some stores. My sergeant is going to rip my head off for sure. Oh well. Lan lan suck thumb and eat shit lor. That's all i can do now. Beach road doesn't even sell it so what am i to do. 1206 and pay cut here i come! Haha.
I haven't talked to her for 2 months now. Wonder how she is doing. Is she ok and stuff like that. But what am i to say? I'm quite a failure really. I can't even do a simple thing like that. Maybe i am meant to be like this forever.
Anyway, as a wise man once said, nothing is for certain.

When less is more.

What can i say? It seems that this theory of mine holds true once again. The less i say or do, the less trouble i seem to get into. So i guess i should just stick to doing the bare minimum and keep my ass out of trouble? Seems easy enough you say? Well, you are wrong, so wrong. It occurs to me that many people out there think that i should do more thatn what is asked of me. After all, many people think that i am good in one way or another. However, there are also people out there who think i am a complete pain in the ass. They say i don't treasure the things i have and that i take too many things in life for granted. maybe they are right. So why do i feel so shit everytime i try to connect with people. People from my past and not so recent past. Am i that a pain in the ass that no one wants to talk to me, let alone be associated in any way with me? What's wrong with me? I try not to blame the people around me but i have beaten myself up for too long over this already. Maybe i should start blaming the people around me for all the shit that has happened to me this few months.
Where are my friends when i need them?
Who knows?

Nut cracked

Defence never felt so tiring before. Try digging for 48 hours straight, with less than 5 hours of sleep and you'll get what i mean. I was so damn tired that i fell alseep right next to my entrenching tool and dindn't wake up until my PC started throwing thunderflashes around like a maniac. Crazy. Then u should try running up the hill which i was situated on. Hill 265, somewhere around the SLE, near the zoo. I'll never forget that place, and i'll always have nightmares of it. Hah. Worse thing is that i lost some stores on that hill. Hope i don't get my ass torn for it. Only 2 more weeks left in SISPEC. After that i'm most probably going to go to a support unit. Whee! It's going to be rather slack from then on. 2 more weeks and i'm a Corporal, with ice-cream cones on my arms. Haha. That goes along with a 100 dollar pay rise, which makes the deal all the more sweeter. Sweet. 550 a month and nowhere to spend it? I'm going to be rich. Haha.
2 more weeks to go, 2 more weeks to go. Can't wait. Furthermore all the upcoming weekends are long weekends (which means i get to book out on a friday!). Means more time to spend with my section mates, college friends and family. And that makes ivan a happy man.

Song

Here's something for you people to read and think about. It's some old song from a book i've been reading (and a very good book it is). Here goes:

Go, and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me, where all past years are,
Or who cleft the Devil's foot,
Teach me to hear mermaids sing,
Or keep off envy's stinging,
And find
What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind.

If thou be'est born to strange sights,
Things invisible to see,
Ride ten thousand days and nights,
Till age snow white hairs on thee,
Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me
All strange wonders that befell thee,
And swear
Nowhere
Lives a woman true, and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know,
Such a pilgrimage were sweet,
Yet do not, I would not go,
Thou at next door we might meet,
Thou she were true when you met her,
And last, till you write your letter,
Yet she
Will be
False, ere I come, to two, or three.

- John Donne, 1572-1631

Read it carefully and tell me what you think it means. I don't know what happened to my tag board so just post a comment on the comment portion if you want. If not, then just read it for your enjoyment. Have fun, but don't crack your head on it.