This is going to be... LEGENDARY!

Its been way too long since i last blogged. Way way way way way too long. So much has happened since the last post. Anyway, before i dig a hole in the ground and start studying for the exams, i think a little update is in order.

Actually, there is nothing much to update really. Think about it. In the last 7 weeks, i have done almost nothing of note, save perhaps churn out essays at an almost demonic speed. Ok, maybe not the best way to describe it but it beats 'legendary' right? Moving on, other than that and having absolutely no life whatsoever, yup, that's pretty much it.

In 3 weeks, my first year as an undergrad will be over. I'll no longer be a freshie but a sophomore! Yeah! Whatever. As far as i'm concerned, its just the beginning of another long drawn grind with me fighting against idiots like Socrates and his philosophical cronies (including Mill, Descartes and Hobbes no less), struggling to get weird concepts around my head regarding what 'democracy' really means (in the course of this semester, i've come across no less than 5 different definitions) and finally its me against Microsoft Word or Apple Pages as i try and try to find the ultimate A+ essay (which won't be coming anytime soon).

At least school isn't that boring these days. Some professors are really really cool. Like this italian one who smokes before classes, offers us nicotine gum during, and whose favourite phrase is either "I don't really care" or "bull.. ermm.. business." He's cool. And the not so cool? The Canadian who sounds like she is choking or has just run the marathon (but judging by her size i would say the former). In between we've got the hyper New Zealander and the sadistic German (he must be from east Germany right?), who is not from East Germany (damn!) but close enough (the other side of the Berlin Wall). Oh and he looks like Harry Potter and he's into this Zen meditation bull.. ermm.. business. And then there are the MacDo trips with Tappy and Khai and all the other rubbish like Mountain Dew being the 'drink of the gods from Mount Olympus' (i swear we were having a tough day in the KALLIPOLIS). Really crazy days in school which i won't be forgetting anytime soon.

As fun as it may all sound, its kind of getting on my nerves. Seeing the same people everyday may be fun (undoubtedly) but it gets really tired quickly. I need some new friends (not that i haven't made any) but shit.. you know what i mean. Oh yah. And i need a girlfriend too. Too much chest bumping with the guys is making me too much of a bro. Any further and i may just end up crazy like Barney in 'How I Met Your Mother'. Damn that's scary.. but on second thought, maybe not so bad. AWESOME! 

By the way, if you know any girls, at least 1.75m tall WITHOUT HEELS (the taller the better), be a bro and tell me! HAHA!

RECESS!!!

Finally, its recess week. After 6 weeks of torture in school, its finally time for me to kick back and relax for a bit right? Wrong! 2 essays due right after the break and i have no idea how to even begin. On top of that, my writing seems to have leveled out. I can't seem to write anything better than a B+ and its a pain to know that if i continue at this rate, i'll probably be mucking out toilets after i graduate. 

Recess is meant to be a time where i can just chill out and not do anything. Seriously. I need sleep and i need sleep. Haha. Oh well. This sucks but can't do anything about it except just do whatever i have to do. Sigh. There goes my university life, spent just mugging and writing, rinse and repeat.

Another 7 weeks of school, exams and i've survived my first year as an undergraduate. At least 2 more 2 go then. Speaking of which, i need to plan my schedule for the holidays. I applied for an internship with the MFA, then i've got reservist to do, which really sucks. Also considering summer school in LSE and at the same time attend my brother's graduation. Hopefully all i've planned would fall nicely in place. London is calling me back and i really want to go back too. Is there a hidden opportunity for me? I wonder. Maybe, just maybe.

The only reason i'm still single..

What's new, Ivan?

What's new? Actually nothing much. Other than for the new year, things are pretty much the same. Yeah i know i've been really lazy the past few weeks (or months, i'm not one to take note really), not blogging and stuff. So, to to my defence, i'm going to say and whine that the exams were a pain in the ass, i've been out of the country most of the time and i've started playing WoW (uh-oh) again.

First things first, the exams. Even after taking them for the past don't-know-how-many-years worth of them, i still find them a pain. Worse still in Uni, seeing those assholes mugging gives me the creeps. Worse is i think that it is rubbing off on me. I haven't studied properly in oh 5 years? and all of a sudden i find myself staying late in the library poring over books barely understand. Ah, how life has changed over 4 months of school. Even then i still try and maintain a cool, laid-back image which may or may not suit me. Behind the facade, i'm just another mugger toad, the very species i've grown to detest so much. Anyway, i'm not really complaining i guess. I did better than i expected so i guess the studying is paying off.

Out of the country? Yeah. Spent a rather enjoyable trip to Genting with the fencing team and a week in Japan with the parents. No pics because i don't own a camera (hint hint, you know what i need for my next birthday =) ) so that's too bad. I really liked Japan. The food was excellent, people friendly and the weather awesome. Not to mention the sites which were impressive and educational at the same time. Fair enough i took a module in Japanese studies in my first sem. At least it helped me appreciate the culture and history of the country better. Would love to go there again. I just need the money. Anybody care to sponsor me? Haha.

Let's not talk about WoW. Its bad enough that i'm playing it again and wasting my life at the same time. For that i think i deserve some pity? Haha.

So yeah. What's new Ivan? Its a new year and a new semester in school. I'm already over my head with readings and its only the first week of school. 3 stupid books by long dead greek fags who think they understand the whole world. Stupid Plato and Socrates and Aristotle. Ancient Western Political Thought. Lol. 8 chapters by next week? Like i have no idea that most of what people think of as European history is all a sham. And guess what? The module has nothing to do with European history per se. European Politics. Lol. It seems that only International Relations and Comparative Politics are the only ones with sane reading lists. Well, its my fault for wanting to be a Political Science major. It was the only reasonable choice anyway, so i can't and won't complain anymore.

Anyway, Happy New Year to whoever reads this. I know its kinda late, but better late than never right?

The drunk

Either i'm going crazy,or i'm going crazy. I've been drinking copious amounts of beer over the past few weeks, Sheesh. I'm really going crazy. Haha. See the cazy laugh? Haha.

Anyway, school's about to end. Things have been going rather well i think. Averaging Bs, but i'm sure i can do much better. But Bs? Argh. At the rate i'm going i'm going to have to live like a hermit to get first class honors. Sigh. There goes my life. And with the beer going in, its going to be tough staying sane to keep studying. Heard of academic suicide? I think i've committed it for doing Japanese as a language. I have the faintest idea about what is happening in class and the best i can do in class is muster up a kooky smile everytime my tutor asks me a question. And i can't exercise the Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory option because i'm in the Arts fac. There, a perfect example of academic suicide. So screwed.

Speaking of screwed, i have 2 weeks to my IPPT and i'm in such a pathetic physical state even after fencing for the past 3 over months. It will be a miracle if i actually pass. Looks like its RT for me. I heard that being in Uni allows me to skip RT but i'll need conirmation about that. Hopefully i'm allowed to do so. Then i had better train properly to pass at a later fate. This sucks. The Army is still trying to dictate the terms of my life even after i've finished my time. Screw it.

Oh well. Exams are around the corner too. Time really flies when you're having fun. I've come up with a new philosophy on life which i will expound on in my next post, coming after the exams probably. Too much to deal with right now. School work, bloody Army crap and other things too. Bad enough that i have no friggin time and i'm too friggin lazy.

You're pro or you're noob. That's life. --- Athene

Recess Week!

A post is long overdue. Have been pretty busy lately trying to get into the Uni groove. Things are seemingly ok so i have no complaints, other than for the fact that i have 5 days of school a week, which is a MEGA pain in the ass. I never want to stop studying. Its too fun. And the alternative doesn't exactly seem very nice either. So i want to study for as long as possible, whihc means dragging my Uni life as long as possible. Haha.

Anyway, i got nothing much to say. As far as possible, i'm trying to leave the past behind and just keep moving forward. After all, you can't turn back time right?

Its been awhile...

Its been while since my last post. Too many things to do, too little time (both of which are lies). Haha. Actually i've just been feeling really lazy the past month and my internet has gone all wonky on me. Apologies in advance for all that dinging and donging when i come online and go offline on MSN. And if i don't reply to your summons, its not my fault. Go blame singtel or whoever, just not me.

Anyway, back to some real stuff. In the previous post i wrote about how badly i did for Philosophy. I did really badly overall. A C+ for your first module back in school isn't exactly a fantastic start to life as a University student. Maybe its my fault (yes i'm admitting that i'm MAY be at fault here) to have chosen such an obscure module to start off with. The only consolation may be that i did rather well for my final paper to have gotten such a grade, considering the horrible one i got for the essay. At least Political Science treated me better. I think i may be able to hit an A- if all things go fine with the final. 2 Bs for 2 essays isn't that bad right? So yeah, maybe what i really needed was some time to adapt and adjust to being a student again. I swear the Army is a pain in the ass. I makes us guys become stupid, slow and lazy. That's life i guess. Anyway, i'm going to start working real hard from now on. If i'm lucky, maybe i'll try and transfer to the law fac next academic year. Sheesh. I've set really high standards for myself. Whether or not i can stick to my guns and reach my goal is another thing.

I've given up on rugby for now. I'm not joining the NUS team, which is quite a waste considering that i really love the sport to the bones. Apparently its hard to get in and the coach and players are closet assholes, especially when you come from a 'second-rate' rugby playing school. So much for trying to promote the sport in Singapore when its so cliqueish. Sigh. Anyway, i decided to try out something new again. I put my name down for fencing with khai and canoe polo with KP and miah. I'm leaning towards the polo side now. Oh yeah. At least i'm joining a sport. I have no excuse not to exercise anymore. Haha.

I'm pretty tired right now. Had to wake up early for exams today. It was good, except that i forgot to bring my identification for the paper and was pretty much in a mess for the whole morning. If you want to know what happened, i'm not telling here. I don't want my head to go rolling anywhere in a hurry. Speaking of class, i've got all the mods i bid for so i'm pretty chuffed with myself. In the end, there always seems to be that little silver lining to everything that happens to me.

Did i really just take an exam?

Its been what? 2 and a half years since my last exam. I will never forget how i felt once i finished the last paper of my As (bio s none the less). A mixture of relief and dread, knowing that i had most probably screwed up another important stage in my academic career. MY MARKS (scars) PROVE MY WORTH! But really, there is nothing much to prove because i screwed up so badly that even now it hurts to think about it. Oh well. So i thought with a little more hard work and some divine intervention, i would be able to do better when i start off in Uni. After all, its meant to be a chil-lax place right? Wrong. I did so badly for my essay that i'll need a miracle if i'm going to even smell a B for the philo mod. This is bad because it totally screws up my plan to get a CAP of 4.5 for the whole course. Now with a mod which i screwed up, i'm in for one hell of a ride. Straight to hell again it seems.

Speaking of hell, is it me or is the weather going crazy again. One moment its like a mini tsunami has hit our shores the next, its as though the devil decided to dance a little jig on the island, mainly around the south western part of the island. Its torture especially considering the Uni is built on hills (note the plural). In the famous song from the Sound of Music, "The hills are alive/With the sound of groaning" And creaking knees. And breaking backs. And heavy breathing. From all the exertion. Ouch. The heat doesn't help, and neither does the humidity. Especially the humidity. ARGH! Why can't the weather be just a little bit cooler? That would save me a load of trouble, especially since i've become a ground-pounder again, walking everywhere, from A to Z.

Oh yeah. So i've finished my first ever mod in the Uni, and it didn't go very well. Good riddance to Philosophy for now at least. I'll try my best not to do anything philosophical for awhile. So there won't be anymore philosophical thoughts for awhile at least until i start doing political theory, then i'll have to study all those old greek, french english german and american bums again. Damn. I'm planning on specializing in IR with a sub-specialization in PT so i better use some time to brush up my reading and writing skills. Especially my writing skills. I can ill afford another philo essay again. Currently, i'm doing the intro mod to pol sci. Hopefully i can do better this time. After all, i want to do it as my major so i had better make myself known to the profs and whoever it may concern that i'm hanging around.

Anyway, i was just thinking about the time back in college. Was the council really that fragmented back then? I thought we could all (the guys at least) get along without killing each other. Ok, there may have been times when i almost killed someone during meetings (i won't say who) and there was the time i broke the CI room door out of frustration (which had nothing to do with council at all). Despite all that, i really felt that we had something going on. A bond of brotherhood and of trust. Covering each other's ass from the wrath of Jek Suan was the unspoken rule. But now, 3 years since we stepped down, things have gone to shit. Councillors at war with each other, grabbing at each other's throats. Even though we rarely meet, we seem to have this deep rooted hate within us. Why? I'm sick of being in the center of the conflicts. I've tried my best to hold what remnants of our brotherhood together. I'm sick of taking sides and being forced to do so. It hurts to see friends verbally beat the shit out of each other. Has the 3 years apart made us that different, that cocky?

Who knows these things. Not me that's for sure. All i know is that i'm tired. And sick of this very much. I feel like washing my hands off everything and just start living properly again. I'm looking for answers again. I'm no emo. I just need to find what i'm looking for.