Back to work

Started back at work on tuesday and had to leave for outfield training almost immediately. 3 days spent out in the field smearing green stuff on my face and taking my piss in the bushes. How fun is that? Oddly enough, i felt kinda good about it. Other than for the lack of sleep (5 hours over 2 nights), green shit on my face, the lack of basic sanitation and a screwed up training reigme, it was actually fun. Call me crazy or what, but i find that these periods spent out in the field have a rather therapeutic effect. Its during these times, out in the jungle with nothing but my rifle and my wits that i can make plans, dream dreams and set things in motion. Its these little things that keep me sane through my army life. Saying this, i think that i will miss these outfield sessions when i leave. Where else can you get the feeling of the wild in urban sprawling Singapore? In Lim Chu Kang, Simpang, Mandai of course.

Either way, i'm still looking forward to my ORD date. I just want to be a civilian and enjoy life.

Back in the office, work just keeps piling up. NDP, formation anniversery, another course to plan for etc. Well, i can say that i just have to survive till the end of August and i'll be all good. Then i can enjoy 2 months of slack before i leave the army. That would be a good thing. April, May, June, July and August. 5 more months. Judging by how time flies, it will be a quick 5 months by my estimates.

I think i'm out of the phase. This time hopefully for good. WoW is going fine, but i think i need a break from it soon or i may just lose my mind to the game. Its not a bad thing but i really think i should be getting out more. Catching a movie or just hanging out for a meal with friends. Its been ages since i last went out for a proper outing with friends and i seriously miss it. When my subscription ends in May, i think i'll take a break from the game and do some leg work for once. Get some Sun, good food and good company instead of having just the computer for the whole weekend.

Another thing, i'm seriously out of shape these days. When i could run almost non-stop before, now i can barely run at all. When i used to be able to pull like a mad man, now i can't. And my six-pack? Don't even go there. I haven't done any proper exercise in 4 months now i'm becoming a weak piece of shit. I can't stand it any more. From next week onwards, the old exercises, Exercise Six Pack, Exercise Flying Wings and Exercise Run-Till-You-Drop begin in earnest. I'm not going to cheat myself anymore and i'm willing to take the pain to attain my goals. In the immortal words of Mr Issac Lim, the great PE teacher of CJC, "Do not stop, its poisonous! Integrity and Mental Discipline! 26 up, 26 down!" Haha. Those were the days.

Well, i cannot lie. I still think of her almost everyday. Its hard to kill a feeling as strong as that, but if i have to, i will. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore so i'm just going to do my best, even if it is at the expense of my emotions and feelings. Especially her, i do not ever want to make her feel hurt again, nor do i want her to feel guilty for making things turn out this way. If there is anyone to blame, it is me, for being weak and for being well, a loser.

Well, i'm ok. Things are looking up and generally, nothing much can really go wrong right now. I've made a committment to myself that i will start exercising and that i'll start putting in some study time to prep myself for Uni. Also i need to start saving more cash for my driving and trip at the end of the year. Difficult, to be sure, but i think i'll make it. If i get a Gold award for my IPPT this year, there will be a treat waiting at the end of it. Haha.

Till then, off to work, sai gang and a whole lot of other crap!