Countdown begins...

129 absolute days to go. That is 18 more weeks, 4 more months. Till i see my pink i/c. Being a guy and stuff, pink really isn't my colour, but come the 4th of Novemeber, pink is going to be the most beautiful colour in the world. If you don't know what i'm refering to, how long does it get to Mars and back? Anyway, i can't wait to ORD. The army is starting to drain me of every single bit of energy i can muster. Day in and day out, the daily drudgery of work is starting to wear me out. Well, its not very often that i wake up in the morning and the first words on my mind are, "Fuck, not again." I'm serious. Its really weird and i've been getting the feeling for quite awhile now. They say its premature "I want to ORD" mood, but i still have 4 more bloody months to serve. It usually rears its head in the last 2 months before that, but for me, its almost double the time. I'm looking for ways to skive at work, thinking of more and more reasons for me to take off days, just to get out of the office. Its a shitty feeling, really when it has to come to this. NS is supposed to be an experience for all young men, but to me, it just seems like a friggin chore. Speaking about chores, when it comes down for me to write a CV, i think i can add the following job experiences 1) Cleaning and digging drains 2) clearing rubbish down at Marina Bay 3) Washing vehicles 4) topping up vehicles with petrol 5) cleaning up other people's mess. That's just a few bits of shit that i have to take nowadays. I wonder if it was the right choice for me to choose an admin post after graduating. I would have done much better in ops.

Sigh, enough about army. I think i'm going to stop playing WoW very soon. After spending the day yesterday not touching the computer at all, i've finally come to realise how much of the rael world i've been missing. Its like, yeah, WoW has been one of the best games i've palyed in awhile, but it really isn't an excuse for me to totally neglect my social life. Sheesh, for crying out loud, when iw ent down to Vivocity to do a little shooping yesterday, i felt like i was back on Mars. Its totally unreal to not know your way around the shops, and the decision making process becomes all the more difficult when the biggest decision you last made was whether to upgrade to BC or not. Its really a crappy feeling. And when i got a can of whoop ass from my dad on the squash court, the humiliation was complete. So that's it. When my subscription ends in july, i'm going off the hook, more or less for good (hopefully). I'm stopping MMORPGs. They really kill the mind, in their own insidious ways.

Then again, i'm really looking forward to Uni, even though its still more than a year away. Its like the light at the end of the tunnel (maybe the girls would like to differ, they only see it as another stepping stone to becoming old fat and ugly). I'm pretty set that iw ouldn't want to screw up my Uni life, so i'm going to take things easy. Try to work hard for 3 years, do the honours year, get a good honours then out to the working world where hopefully i achieve some bloody success for once. While studying, some rugby would be nice. I realised that though you may stop playing, you never really get it out of your life. Rugby IS for life, and rugby IS a family. It just seems so much easier on the pitch, man-on-man. A battle of wits and a little savagery, but at the end of the day, opponents drink to each others success and no grudges are borne. If only life was that simple, wouldn't it be great.

Well, i've come out stronger. I'm not so easily phased by problems of the heart anymore, cause maybe i've lost my capacity to care for someone other than for myself. Its turned rock hard and i've set my mind and body against it. Yeah. Somehow it feels good to put on the armour again to face what the world can throw at you. I've made mistakes before, i learn from them and i hopefully don't make them again.