I Close My Eyes
Remember something i wrote last year, just after i got my A level results (the screwed up piece of shit). It was lyrics to a jap song that i heard and i really liked. Well, it so happened that i watched a movie with the song as its theme song, Crying Out Love in the Centre of the World. Its jap, so for those people who don't like it or what, turn away now. Anyway, it was a really sad movie and i really enjoyed it. Ok, the actress was rather hot (Masami Nagasawa) but what really made me enjoy the show was the innocence of youth and... Argh! You've got to go watch the movie yourself to understand it. So just as a teaser, i've put the song from the OST of the movie here. I Still can't figure out the bloody making the video pop out thing so there's the link. =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L8mFhciALk
So its been about a month now, trying to get over it. I think i'm more or less going in the right direction. Somehow, things don't hurt that much when a) you're too busy to think about it and b) you're kinda stoned most of the time. But shit, its really hard. I never imagined love could cause so much pain. Its just that somehow, sometimes, you wish that things could have worked out. That you knew then what you know now. But still, when the distractions come to and end, or when time seems to stand still between jobs and you've got nothing on your hands to do except watch and wait, the feelings, the memories, good and bad all come rushing back again. Worse still, all the places i go, the meomories they bring back. Damn, its so difficult to let go of them. Places i pass by often, the Sakae sushi outlet that we had our first lunch alone together. Places in school, the lecture rooms the council room, the prayer room. Places where we just plain had fun, De La Salle School. And even some army camps, OCS during Temasek Seminar. All these places the memories. Sometimes i can still hear her laughter ringing down the hallways. It all comes back in the quiet moments.
Sometimes, i close my eyes and i see you there in front of me. But as i reach out to hold you, it seems as though you are slipping farther away from me. I guess that you already have. I've really tried to let you go but its just so hard to do. I'm weak. Really i am. I don't know how i'm ever going to get through this. Too many memories that i just cannot let go of.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L8mFhciALk
So its been about a month now, trying to get over it. I think i'm more or less going in the right direction. Somehow, things don't hurt that much when a) you're too busy to think about it and b) you're kinda stoned most of the time. But shit, its really hard. I never imagined love could cause so much pain. Its just that somehow, sometimes, you wish that things could have worked out. That you knew then what you know now. But still, when the distractions come to and end, or when time seems to stand still between jobs and you've got nothing on your hands to do except watch and wait, the feelings, the memories, good and bad all come rushing back again. Worse still, all the places i go, the meomories they bring back. Damn, its so difficult to let go of them. Places i pass by often, the Sakae sushi outlet that we had our first lunch alone together. Places in school, the lecture rooms the council room, the prayer room. Places where we just plain had fun, De La Salle School. And even some army camps, OCS during Temasek Seminar. All these places the memories. Sometimes i can still hear her laughter ringing down the hallways. It all comes back in the quiet moments.
Sometimes, i close my eyes and i see you there in front of me. But as i reach out to hold you, it seems as though you are slipping farther away from me. I guess that you already have. I've really tried to let you go but its just so hard to do. I'm weak. Really i am. I don't know how i'm ever going to get through this. Too many memories that i just cannot let go of.
posted by ivan at
5/19/2007 11:27:00 pm
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