Boredem and regrets.

It has been a good 3 day break for me. Too bad it finished too fast. Booked out on thursday night after a hell of a day out in the field. "Contacted Left/Right/Front/Back". I hate those words. Worse is the weird stuff we had to prone in. My buddy proned down in shit (wild boar i think). I was next to him. He smelled for the rest of the day. But still, we managed to get a good laugh out of things, from semi-auto weapons becoming 1 shot 1 cock, to falling asleep in the tall grass (lalang). Haha. These are the sort of things that keep me going these few days. I ahev been quite diappointed with myself. What's the point in being able to run and jump so well, when i can barely pull. Explains alot why i got a 21 point pass for my IPPT. It's disgusting. I feel disgusted with myself. I feel like a loser. I feel weak. I just want to give up. Seriously. Thank God for the friends i have made in camp. They are the ones that keep me going, day after day after day...
Friday was like any other Good Friday. Good because i got to stay home to rest. Going to church beats chiong sua in a cemetery anytime, even if i requires me to stand and kneel for God knows how may times. Saturday was even better. Spent some time with my council mates. Met the guys and a few unexpected others. Spent a bit of time talking to them. But still, i regret not spending enough time with her. It felt so empty and dry. I justw ish i could ahve spent more time just with her and no one else. But i guess we all have our priorities in life. I do regret it, but i'm still happy. Anytime spent with friends is time well spent. Went for vigil mass that night and a weird plan came to me. Something to change someones life for the better. Only miah knows the plan. It will be put into action soon. haha.
Back to camp tonight. Out only on Saturday night. That is 6 long days. 6 days in the field. ^ days in the rain and sun. 2 days in Mandai doing navigation. Hope i don't get lost or end up in 'Hor-Lan'. Haha. Maybe i'll just end up at the zoo. Imagine a guy carrying a rifle terrorising kids who just want to see the lions and tigers. Haha. So if u happen to be around the PIE, central catchment area on Monday and Thursday, do drop by and give a shout out. I'm sure there will be friendly soldiers out there who would be willing to do anything to get out of the bloody forest. Haha. Out!