Just when i thought it would be safe...
Here goes, another update. 4 weeks to ORD. Can't bloody hell wait for it to come. 28 days seems like a long way to go. 28 days later.. haha. Hopefully i don't turn into a zombie by then. Still have 3 more days of trainee life, range, ippt and clearance to go before that big day when i become a civilian once again, when i can step out of camp and say,"Hey i've done my part of the nation, now its your turn." Seeing the kind of lives the NSmen live make me really envious of them. But anyway, till that day i still have to behave myself lest i get charged just before i ORD. Wouldn't want anything like that to happen. I'll be a good soldier form now on. I promise.
Sigh. I've been wondering. What changes a person? Had this MSN converstaion with a friend today. And frankly, i felt quite pissed about it. Does answering a simple question and a little probing with some humor rolled into it warrant a kick in the balls? I think not, but obviously this friend thinks otherwise. Sheesh. To think we talked about brotherhood and all that crap and when i try to be helpful i get this? If not for CCC right now i would have shouted the guy down. And he thinks he's all that. Whatever man. Go and lead your life and earn your millions. All i can say is that you'll never be happy with an attitude like that.
Anyway, moving on. Euro trip doesn't seem to be happening anymore. All the hype for nothing. Now where does that leave me? My parents think its ok for me to skip the trip with my uncle at the end of november cos i'm going back again next year. How to tell them its off? Even they seem excited about the prospect of me going over, which rarely happens, because they're never really excited over anything i do. I'm pissed off. I thought i learnt to control it, but these days my temper just keeps getting worse. I even blew up at my instructor the other day when he tried to put me down over some of the work i was doing. The bloody old man. Moving on. I'm disappointed with the things going on right now. I guess its off now. No point brooding over it. Maybe i just have to look for other peeps to travel down south. That would be fun.
Just the other day, i received a random message asking me if i was working. Unfortunately, i was or i would have jumped on the opportunity that it presented. Sigh. i let my defenses down for that instant and all the memories just came flooding back. I almost fell back to the time when it was at its worse, when i knew it couldn't work out. This time it felt a little different, but i've become too cautious. I caught myself at the last moment or i would have just fallen back to obvlivion. I realised that old feelings die hard and love dies even harder. I'm not cut out for this i guess. My lifes a mess right now and i don't really want to talk about it.
Sigh. I've been wondering. What changes a person? Had this MSN converstaion with a friend today. And frankly, i felt quite pissed about it. Does answering a simple question and a little probing with some humor rolled into it warrant a kick in the balls? I think not, but obviously this friend thinks otherwise. Sheesh. To think we talked about brotherhood and all that crap and when i try to be helpful i get this? If not for CCC right now i would have shouted the guy down. And he thinks he's all that. Whatever man. Go and lead your life and earn your millions. All i can say is that you'll never be happy with an attitude like that.
Anyway, moving on. Euro trip doesn't seem to be happening anymore. All the hype for nothing. Now where does that leave me? My parents think its ok for me to skip the trip with my uncle at the end of november cos i'm going back again next year. How to tell them its off? Even they seem excited about the prospect of me going over, which rarely happens, because they're never really excited over anything i do. I'm pissed off. I thought i learnt to control it, but these days my temper just keeps getting worse. I even blew up at my instructor the other day when he tried to put me down over some of the work i was doing. The bloody old man. Moving on. I'm disappointed with the things going on right now. I guess its off now. No point brooding over it. Maybe i just have to look for other peeps to travel down south. That would be fun.
Just the other day, i received a random message asking me if i was working. Unfortunately, i was or i would have jumped on the opportunity that it presented. Sigh. i let my defenses down for that instant and all the memories just came flooding back. I almost fell back to the time when it was at its worse, when i knew it couldn't work out. This time it felt a little different, but i've become too cautious. I caught myself at the last moment or i would have just fallen back to obvlivion. I realised that old feelings die hard and love dies even harder. I'm not cut out for this i guess. My lifes a mess right now and i don't really want to talk about it.
posted by ivan at
10/07/2007 11:31:00 pm
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