Neverwhere

I've got nothing to write. Nothing to say, sow hy am i typing this? I'm not too sure myself. maybe its because i'm bored. maybe its because i only book in tmr night. maybe its because i got no one to talk to. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Haha.

Neverwhere. Is a stroy of a guy discovers a secrect world under the streets of london. Sounds like fun right? I'm going to get the book next weekend and read it like i have never read before. It seems that these days, i find my solace, my peace in my books. Where my imagination is allowed to run riot and no one can criticise my dreams, my hopes. I can alot of criticism these days. Yup. From familiy who thinks i'm not giving enough, the cause of all their troubles. To friends, who just think i'm a pain in the ass, calling them at odd times of the day just to talk abt nothing in particular, just to let out all my troubles to them. Thanks to those who actually listen, miah especially (actually, only he listens), but i really don't know where i should go now. I thought i would be enjoying myself out of the army, but it seems i'm in a worse state out of camp rather than in camp, where the mindless chiong sua, digging of holes for no apparent reason, the push-ups, the lack of sleep, the dirtiness of my uniform after wearing it for 5 days straight, the smell of my helmet first thing in the morning, the cleaning of an already cleaned weapon offer me some form of release from the troubles in my life. This is not the sort of life i wanted to live. maybe i'm going to live the rest of my life feeling like an ass, a good-for-nothing, like a begger living off the goodwill of others. i thought that i should build my own good will but it seems that i'm incapable of things as simple as this.

What the fuck. Life sucks.